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Thursday 18 April 2013

A Gentle Kiss


She looked so small and hazy from the distance

Clutching her favorite (and only) teddy, she was coming,,,, rather, stomping towards him

Though he couldn't see her clearly from this distance, but he could very well see the two streaks of tears flowing from her eyes and leaving a trail on her dust laden dusky face.

She came and promptly took her seat on the fenced wall, waiting for him to come. He was late by whole 5 minutes.

She was 10 and he was 12 and their friendship goes back to the date which even he doesn't remember.

After some time he came and took his seat besides her

‘Hey..’ he offered after few minutes of silence

No reply

He waited

‘So you won’t talk to me’

She twitched the ear of her teddy

‘Hmmm…’ he nudged her

She made her hold on her teddy even firm.

‘Look what have I got for you’

She shook her head

He bought his hands under her nose

Stubborn that she was, she shook her head again.

But stopped half way, for sitting in his palms were her favorite, melody toffee.

She tried hard to keep the somber expressions but a slight grin did pass her lips.

She hesitated, bit her lower lip, then gingerly she took one

As he was about to take his hand back, she scooped the second one too.

She gave him the triumphant smile on taking his share as well, without knowing that it was he who gave it up willingly.

She ate one, and kept one for later use.

After she was done with toffees, he asked-‘what did you have for lunch today?’

Her lower lips thickened and more clouds gathered in her eyes.

She didn't answered, didn't even look up.

She again started to fidget with her teddy.

‘Here’, he took out the lunch his mom made for him

She eyed him consciously, but accepted the packet.

It was only when she was half full, did she realize that she was eating his lunch and that he must be hungry too.

She guiltily looked at him and offered what was left.

He wasn't really hungry but took one or two bites so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable.

Just then the breeze gathered momentum, blowing away the hair on her face.

It was then he noticed the scar, freshly given to her by her step mom, just below her right eye.

He leaned forward and gently kissed on the scar hoping to kiss away the pain.



 (sawali si raat-burfi)

Saturday 21 May 2011

letting go

I was sad; I was hurt. I was going crazy. I just couldn’t understand any of it. How could he. How could he do that?


He said he loved me, He still does. Then why this? Why did he do that? Dint he know that what he was doing id wrong? Dint he know that he would hurt me? Were everyone right and I wrong when I chose him?


I wanted to shout and scream at him, and maybe slap him for what he did. I was in a daze going crazy never understanding how or why did it happen.


All I know was he hurt me badly and no matter how much I want, I will never be able to forgive him.


It was strange. We never fought, loved each other so much but we were moving away. I started to hate him for committing that mistake doing something, which can never be undone. Why?


I was sad depressed, hating him at that moment. I was numb crazy. And that is when my brother asked me, 'were you happy with him?'


I was shocked and surprised at this question. Did he doubt him? 'Yes off course' I replied earnestly


I dint want him to think any other way because I was honestly very happy. 'And that is why I just dont understand...'


'Then why are you sad' he cut me. ‘Be happy that you had those moments.' I gave him a look and went away


But then as I laid down on bed for another sleepless night that is when my brother's words hit me


And I realized that no matter how hard he hurt me he was someone who made me happy


In all the small ways, he had given me a lot. He made me dancing on the air happy


He gave me the confidence I wanted, the self worth I needed and the friends group I always wished for


He gave me the smiles on my face my eyes. He gave the care, the love, the affection, which I always hoped for


He taught me many things. He told me how to smile forever. He showed me how to let my hair down and never take life seriously.


He made feel like a teenager experiencing love for the first time. I discovered, learnt, tried so many things with him. Stealing a moment here, stealing a kiss there, he gave me some years of my life, which I lost, back. Holding my hands he would make me feel complete. He taught me how to love myself…


And for that I will always be grateful


And as I got lost in these memories, smiling and crying at the same time, I found myself growing lighter and finally it was easy to let go to forgive to move on.


Though I will still be sad. I won’t talk to him but in my heart I have forgiven him. I have no grudges against him, no 'why' and 'how' questions in my mind. Just a smile that something that beautiful happened to me too

Though I know, in no time he will find someone else to share his life until eternity. I will be sad hurt at that time. Maybe I would never want to see his face then. But all that matter that I found someone who loved me truly..

It doesn’t matter if we are not together. Maybe it was never meant to be. We both came into each other’s life to learn and to teach. What matters is we were together and we enjoyed being together

And maybe someday I hope I will be past the hurt and will be able to remember him without the two tears(one off sadness and one off happiness) sticking onto my eyes.



Will always miss you

and see he gave me my blog back to me too


(song-lag jaa gale from wo kaun thi and roya re from dhoka)

Friday 4 March 2011

mumbai.. again!!

i hated 
i loathed
i detested
... bombay

but now to think
was bombay much better-that i was so hurt-atleast i could write
or delhi is fine-where i am not that sad(i guess and hope)-and am not able to write

everything i have lost in the sands of time(and trust me i have lost many)
i miss writting the most


thanks xyzandyou

Sunday 11 July 2010

flowers

‘You shouldn’t buy flowers from here.’ I said as she paid the money to the girl selling flowers at the red light.

‘Why?’ she asked as our auto picked speed.

'Because they pick it up from graves.'

She smiled and stroked the flower as if to find the spirit of dead

‘Phool to phool he hote hai’ (flowers are flowers). She said after two minutes of silence.’ Placed in a temple they become pure, placed in graveyard they turn infected.
Flowers do not change. It is our perception and the way of thinking that change.
They just do their duty of bringing smiles across faces irrespective of where they are with who they are.


p.s former is the statement my friend always used to say and latter is the statement i always wanted to say

(songs-colorful by verve pipe and maine kaha from mili)

Friday 2 July 2010

yippee!!

hii everyone

i got my first award.. a cute 'cherry on the top award'
i feel so so so happy that i dont have words to express.



ok here it is-




Now for the rules-

1. Thank the person who gave this award to you

2. Copy the Award and put it on your Blog

3. List Three things that you love about yourself

4. Post a picture you love

5. Tag Five people you want to pass this award on to

------

1. thank you saumya for the reward.. it is indeed beautiful and coming from an amazing writter like you, makes it even more special..(readers you can find her here and here..


2. already done.. isnt it cute..!!!

3. 
my kid at heart nature
my non-diplomatic and non-hypocrate nature
my ability to see good in everyone


4.


 love the quote

5. my 5(err.. 4-as i have to exclude saumya) near to heart blogger-

achyut..
prakhar ..
simmy..
viju..


:)

Tuesday 1 June 2010

travel photo contest

well i was always interested in potography

though not very good at it.. i wasnt able to stop my self when i saw travel photographs blog competition ..

therefor, posting my pics for the same..

SOMEWHERE IN MADHYA PRADESH

(the journey)
this one was taken when i was travelling in rajdhani from mumbai to delhi and train took a diversion via MP. our train stopped somewhere. the sight was beautiful compared to other platforms we see.
looking at this it reminded me off the saying 'life is a non ending journey'

BANDRA WORLI SEALINK

 (connection)
the oh-ever-so-famous bandra worli sea link.
this was the first time i saw it and that too from the 20th floor of Taj lands.
i couldnt hepl but click it.

JAPENESE PARK, DELHI

these three pics are taken in japenese park in delhi.
i decided to go for a walk in the morning and take my camera along to give my interst a little extra push



(a bend in the road)
this one is a bend near the lake, remind me of the quote by Albert Camus: "Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken."

 (ray of hope)
this one is my brother's fav.
he likes the way sunlight is coming from the trees
btw, this is just before the bend
as if saying 'it doesnt matter how many bends you will find, you can always do with a little hope'

(a new day)

this one is my favourate..
i like the way old leaves are scattered around, giving way to new ones
telling us that one day we will also perish and wither but it is our actions that keep us alive


so these are my fav 5...







Sunday 18 April 2010

इंत़ज़ार

i know it cheating to put your old poems. but i havent written anything new for sometime.. :( :(.. and its been a while since i updated my blog.. so wanted to do it (nothing great though).. btw dis one i wrote 3 years back.. that doesnt make it so old.. does it...:D

ढुँढता
हूँ तुझे परछाइयों में
पर साए में परछाइयाँ भी गुम हो गई है
सुनता हूँ तेरी आवाज़ हवाओं में
पर आंधियों में आवा़ज़ भी घुट गई है
देखता हुँ तेरी तस्वीर आँखों में
पर गमें--इंत़ज़ार में आँखें भी विरान हो गई है
महसुस करता हूँ तुझे आइने में
पर अब तो शीशे की गरत भी धूल हो गयी है
रखता हूँ तुझे अपने दिल में
पर अब तो सारी यादें भी धुँधली हो गई है
गम--जुदाई का आलम है
एक विरान सी ज़िदगी और एक कहानी है
ध्यान लगाए बैठा हूँ अब तेरी आहट का
पर शायद अब तू ख्वाब हो गई है
तुझ बिन ये ज़िन्दगी निलाम हो गई


(song-khaali haath from ijaazat-lata mangeshkar)



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